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Learning How to Talk "North Dakota"

Going to North Dakota? Of course, my first question is WHY? But if you insist upon making such a journey, you may as well be equipped with an insight to the unique language its residents use. Okay, maybe I'm going overboard a bit with this generalization, but nowhere INSIDE the United States have I heard such unique distortions to the English language.....

"It's Wicter with a Wee not a Wabledoo." (v's & w's)

While watching Wheel of Fortune:  "Why do they keep buying them Valves?" (vowels)

"There it was..............gone."

"Back your truck a little ahead."

Corpse of Engineers

"God damn goose" translates "Got them goose"

Peanut Butter Sandwich Jelly

Take your hat and jack-it off (Take your hat and jacket off)

Fran-Sin-Frisco (San Francisco)

I'm going to the barber to get a perliment (permanant) in my hair today

Where are you from?  St. Louis?  You guys haff a lot of that humility (humidity) down there, eh?

I love to schmoke (smoke) my cigarettes, I got a CARTOON of them under my frontseat 
and another CARTOON in my freezer, yessir I do love to schmoke my cigarettes.

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